We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
