i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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