Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
