no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
