At least make sure they are 18
Why
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
im holly from the hills drunk
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
