Old men and throwing up are my life now.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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