if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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