Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
