So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
