I'm drive I can fine osifer
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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