I wish I could teleport
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
