Someone shit on the floor
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
should my penis look like a turkey
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
