whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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