I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
