Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize