so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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