there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
