Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
