Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
