Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
