I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This is my gift to your gina
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
