Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
