You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
