So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
