Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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