i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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