Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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