There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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