now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
