either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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