We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
