Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
