Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
no you cant smoke seaweed
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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