im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
