honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
