i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
