I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
