i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
