All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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