My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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