it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
