So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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