I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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