She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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