you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
