Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
