I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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