So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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