it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
True college students do jello shots in the library
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
