so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you never un-have a 4some
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
