WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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