when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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