PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
