Sry I called you an 8
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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