im having a threesome with these popsicles
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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