I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
