I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
