My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
