I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need to calm my uterus...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
