After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Randomize
