so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is Oprah even human
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
