The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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