just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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