in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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