I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
