We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
