You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
