i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
