I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
