I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
