speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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