perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
