he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
