I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize