He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
