It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
As shirtless as possible
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
