Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
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