ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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