For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
