it hurts more in the daytime
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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