I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
