I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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